i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
