oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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