It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
