He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
