Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
