My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
