ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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