So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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