I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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