Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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