Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
3 2 1 whiskey
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize