Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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