Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
