I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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