Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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