so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
