whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
