3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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