I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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