I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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