K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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