Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
