It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He shit in the fireplace
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
