1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
