ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
