can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
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I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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