Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
