I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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