508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
