I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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