Please, let me fuck your mom
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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