I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
