everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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