Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

(609): View more from New Jersey

AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?! (267): This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room.. (609): AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?! http://tfl.nu/dtle

Replies (37) Good night (887) Bad night (3718)
Favorite
(952): View more from Minnesota

i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(952): i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis http://tfl.nu/alsr

Replies (18) Good night (3291) Bad night (994)
Favorite
(858): View more from California

the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(858): the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am. http://tfl.nu/40nx

Replies (28) Good night (793) Bad night (3205)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach. http://tfl.nu/7dp2

Replies (34) Good night (1428) Bad night (5319)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day. http://tfl.nu/52wz

Replies (14) Good night (4344) Bad night (852)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring http://tfl.nu/m17v

Replies (4) Good night (1898) Bad night (837)
Favorite
(701): View more from North Dakota

Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(701): Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically. http://tfl.nu/syut

Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (1431)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures. http://tfl.nu/02tx

Replies (6) Good night (1219) Bad night (650)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be.. http://tfl.nu/8j64

Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (1325)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted http://tfl.nu/dbr2

Replies (6) Good night (1328) Bad night (523)
Favorite
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(321): I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward... http://tfl.nu/s7n4

Replies (9) Good night (1363) Bad night (596)
Favorite
(509): View more from Washington

I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.

(609): View more from New Jersey

That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(509): I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood. (609): That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do? http://tfl.nu/arvc

Replies (7) Good night (1795) Bad night (574)
Favorite
(804): View more from Virginia

I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(804): I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow! http://tfl.nu/cfk1

Replies (10) Good night (2332) Bad night (582)
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me! http://tfl.nu/zxm1

Replies (6) Good night (577) Bad night (580)
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism. http://tfl.nu/hgk9

Replies (3) Good night (808) Bad night (403)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard