i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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