Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon. http://tfl.nu/mzh2
  Replies (9) Good night (666) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow (802): Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow http://tfl.nu/mba8
  Replies (2) Good night (1120) Bad night (2703)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him. http://tfl.nu/gqvc
  Replies (13) Good night (811) Bad night (3389)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen http://tfl.nu/p86b
  Replies (13) Good night (570) Bad night (4673)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/a93z
  Replies (13) Good night (4567) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair http://tfl.nu/ktbm
  Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (8045)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  he laminated a picture of his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): he laminated a picture of his dick. http://tfl.nu/x5jy
  Replies (16) Good night (2655) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer http://tfl.nu/nk2m
  Replies (6) Good night (2321) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/qc92
  Replies (9) Good night (1691) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/qnhv
  Replies (20) Good night (2678) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/r6w3
  Replies (8) Good night (909) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday. http://tfl.nu/j22e
  Replies (7) Good night (898) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you. http://tfl.nu/su7n
  Replies (12) Good night (2952) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW http://tfl.nu/uzsx
  Replies (6) Good night (1140) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again http://tfl.nu/inh4
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (246)

Randomize