New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
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I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
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The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver