How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
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No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...