i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them