I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we're making bets on your personal life
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize