I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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