Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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