It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
