he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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