you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
