I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
