she looked like the before picture.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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