I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
