Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
