Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
