So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
