She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
