No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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