you guys were way drunker than both of me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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