im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
