after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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