arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's just like the Real World with babies
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
