Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
