I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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