just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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