so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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