Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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