We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
