you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
