Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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