i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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